Theology in Miscarriage

By: Stacy Potter

One in five pregnancies ends in miscarriage. My own ended only ten days after we learned of it. It is a terrible and deeply personal tragedy experienced by many women and their families. In the days following it, I found myself pondering questions of God and salvation that I had never faced before. Not all my questions were answered, but I have gained a deeper understanding of my Lord through this loss.

It's not a "beat the clock" situation

Sometimes, I have a sense that we have to hurry up and get people saved before they die. The Bible says that God chose us, predestined us, for salvation, before He even made the earth (Eph. 1:4-5), before he made us. It says that even the faith that we have is a grace and gift to us (Eph. 2:8). He does absolutely all of the salvation work. I am not aware of a verse explicitly saying that babies who die go to heaven, but remembering that He chose us refocuses me on trusting God with my baby. I'm not saved by anything I've done, and neither are the unborn. I can follow the examples of Abraham and Hannah, who completely trusted God with their children. Alive or dead, no one will love my kids better than God.

It is right to grieve the loss

I am frustrated with current cultural views of miscarriage. Doctors use terms like "spontaneous abortion" which sounds horrific, and "miscarriage" which implies that I somehow mishandled my baby. Referring to an embryo or fetus as "tissue" or "the products of conception" fails to recognize the personhood of that baby. All humans are made in God's image, made to reflect Him and His character and glory. That four week old embryo has dignity, value, and worth because it reflects God (Gen. 2:26-27). Our grandmothers held fast to a twelve-week rule, waiting until three months into the pregnancy to announce it. If a miscarriage happened before that, they would keep it to themselves and cope in silence and isolation. That isn't how God created us, to grieve alone, and frankly, our culture needs to see that we love and value our children, and that they are more than tissue (Ps. 139:13-16). Mourners can discern how many people they tell and how much, because unlike other deaths, it happens in such a personal and private way. But it's my hope that women not suffer silently. Job, a wealthy, dignified, widely respected man, was not silent when his children died, rather, he made a very public show of genuine grief, and that was not sin (Job 1:20-21).

He's not the bad guy

I felt angry with God afterward, for a while. I knew that God brings glory out of the most tragic situations, but I got to thinking that I should know how He would bring about that glory (Rom. 8:28). I wanted to know specifically what kind of glory would warrant all my suffering. But trusting God isn't about the how. It's about the Who. Who is the object of your faith? When Jesus talks to Mary and Martha about the death of their brother Lazarus, they both had the same objection, the same accusation. "You could have stopped this. Where were you?" Jesus doesn't ask a lot of the questions that I would expect Him to ask as he comes to comfort and mourn with them. He doesn't promise to raise their brother, or apologize for letting him die, or promise to replace him by giving them husbands. He asks, "Who am I? Am I the Lord, the life, the resurrection? Did I not tell you that I would bring glory from this death?" He doesn't offer to bring casseroles, He challenges the very core of their faith: "Who am I to you?"  We die because of our sin nature. Jesus is the life, not the death.  

A perfect Father understands imperfect mothers

Lots of women feel guilty. They wonder if they are responsible, because they ate sushi, or drank wine and coffee, worked out to hard, stressed out too much, or resented being pregnant. Most of the time, miscarriages happen because of a genetic problem. But if the mother did endanger her unborn baby, there is love, grace, and forgiveness. We wouldn't be perfect mothers whether or not our children lived. It is good to make every effort not to endanger the lives of others (Deut. 22:8), and there is a loving Father who perfectly loves us even when we are imperfect mothers, so we don't have to worry or wonder (1 Jn. 4:18).

He has been there, too 

Lastly, we know that our grief is perfectly understood by our Father. He too watched as His child suffered, bled and died and was hidden away in a dark tomb. Jesus suffered so that our feeble, broken bodies might one day be glorified and able to live and enjoy Him forever. Let us not point our finger at God and accuse, "Why me?" but look to Jesus on the cross, point and ask, "Why Him?"

Because you are greatly loved by a greatly glorious God, child.  You are greatly loved. (Eph. 3:14-19)

Promises Fulfilled

"For all the promises of God find their Yes in him. That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory."
(2 Corinthians 1:20 ESV)

As part of my studies for Re:Train, I get to pick a book of the Bible to study for the rest of the year for Hermeneutics, Preaching, and Biblical Theology. I picked the book of Joshua because I've always liked the epic stories of the war and conquest in it. What I didn't expect was the major theme of the book, which is God fulfilling his promise, or covenant, to the people of Israel. 

A little historical background; to that point in history, God had made several covenants, starting with Abraham and continuing with his descendants. A covenant is defined as "an agreement that brings about a relationship of commitment between God and his people." In the book of Genesis, God promises to Abraham that He would bless him, make his descendants into a great people, and that they would receive all the land of Canaan to inhabit and build a kingdom (Gen. 12:1-3, 17:1-4 ESV). With Moses at the burning bush, God made another covenant with Israel, to deliver them from Egypt and to bring them up to the promised land of Canaan (Exodus 3:7-9). 

Fast forward to the book of Joshua, and we see a beautiful, epic narrative wherein God fulfills those covenants. He chooses Joshua as the leader and commander of Israel's armies to replace Moses who had died (Joshua 1). Joshua leads an army in conquest over the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Amorites, and so many other kingdoms and nations who resided in the promised land. God alone grants them victory over great odds. The Lord causes miracles such as the stopping of the waters of the Jordan (Joshua 3, echoing the parting of the Red Sea in the Exodus), destroying the walls of Jericho (Joshua 5), and making the sun stand still as the armies battled (Joshua 10). And even once He accomplishes this great victory, God is still faithful and fulfills even the seemingly smallest of promises. 

Take Caleb for instance, who was introduced back in Exodus. He was one of the spies who ventured into the promised land to determine if they could invade and conquer. When all the other spies exaggerated the truth to save their own skin and misadvised the people, Caleb was obedient and faithful to God and reported the truth. For this God promised him that he would live to enter the promised land and his descendants would dwell there (Numbers 14:24). A full 45 years later, God fulfills this promise through Joshua who gives Caleb a whole territory for him and his family (Joshua 14:6-15). 

All of this promise fulfillment culminates in Joshua 21:43-45:
"Thus the LORD gave to Israel all the land that he swore to give to their fathers. And they took possession of it, and they settled there. And the LORD gave them rest on every side just as he had sworn to their fathers. Not one of all their enemies had withstood them, for the LORD had given all their enemies into their hands. Not one word of all the good promises that the LORD had made to the house of Israel had failed; all came to pass."

This is so encouraging for me to read, just as it would have been for the people of Israel who read this book for generations after. To know that God is not only faithful in keeping his promises, but powerful, wise, loving, and all knowing. That is so useful to us in our daily struggles. I know that personally, the last few months have been a trial. There have been times where all Stacy and I have to rest in is our knowledge that God has promised that he would provide for us in this endeavor, and I know that God can and does fulfill His promises. 

Because what you may not realize is that we are still living under God's covenant. Just as the Israelites lived under the Abrahamic and Mosaic covenants, we live under a New Covenant. This new covenant is instituted by Jesus, who by His cross and resurrection assumes the role of royal high priest and fulfills all the promises God made in the previous covenants. The conditions are that we believe in Jesus, be baptized, participate in remembrance of Him through communion, and live by all that He taught (Matthew 26:28). By this covenant, God establishes His family in it's final form as a universal worldwide kingdom, which Jesus calls His Church (Matthew 16:18-19).

This is the hope that even the people of Israel were looking towards. Moses was not their savior, Joshua was not their savior, the promised land was not heaven. They had faith in God and his unfolding plan that would come to fruition in the person and work of Jesus. Living on this side of the cross, we know Jesus, and anxiously await the fullness of the new covenant when He returns.

That hope is what makes living the Christian life possible. It's what fuels me to follow Him even through difficult or painful circumstances. The knowledge of God's faithfulness is the fuel that the Holy Spirit will spark into a flame of saving faith in Jesus.

How We Moved to Seattle...

Kids, back in 2012, God led your mother and I to move us all to Seattle...

Now, I know what you're thinking, why would we do that? Dad had a good job, we were going to a great church, and we had a ton of friends (including two little girls named Ruth for you Boaz, sorry about that...) 

Well, we had to go where God was taking us. After I got accepted to school at Re:Train, we had to make a decision. God promised to us that he would provide for us, though He didn't neccessarily give us all the details, He asked us to step out in faith.

So I started to look for a job. At the same time, the company I was working for started to have a lot of trouble. We prayed a lot for them because a lot of people lost their jobs. By God's grace, there was an opportunity for me to work for a great company called Apple (the ones who make your iPhone 14). It took a LONG time, and a LOT of interviews, delays, and hold ups, but that was just God working on our faith and showing us how much we need to trust Him in all things. 

God blessed us so much through our friends and family in Montana. They supported us in paying for tuition at my school, they helped us to pack and move out of our apartment, and they prayed so hard for us as we went on our way. We still love them all and visit them whenever we can and thank God for every single one of them.

Once we got here, things didn't necessarily get easier overnight. The apartment we were in was really small. Boaz, you had a really hard time adjusting because nothing was familiar so you clung to us a lot. I had to wait a lot longer than I thought to start my job, so we weren't able yet to go and do a lot of the fun things that we wanted to do in our new city. But God was very faithful, He always came through just when He knew that we needed His help the most. 

My school went very well, I learned SO much. I had great teachers, read some amazing books, and studied with some awesome men. It was a lot of work because I hadn't been to school in a long time, but God gave me strength and helped me to study hard and grow in my knowledge and worship of Him. 

The best part of our new home was the great church that we joined, Mars Hill. The pastor was so thoughtful, he Facebook stalked us before we arrived so that on our first day there, he greeted us at the door by name. We felt really loved right away and got into community groups so that we could make new friends and worship Jesus. We even got to meet Pastor Mark in our first week here and he prayed for you Boaz. 

All in all kids, it was a period of lives that we will never forget. We missed our friends and family dearly. We couldn't wait to go back and visit them. We grew closer as a family than we'd ever been before. Your mom and I had to preach the gospel to each other regularly to remind ourselves of God's promises and faithfulness. Boaz, you grew up a lot, learned so many new things, and got to experience more cultures and people than I ever did as a little boy. We're so grateful for that time and love that we serve a God who is worth the sacrifice and good enough to make it into a blessing.